An oldie, but soo funny

This is for my niece who is kind enough to read my blog,  Don't mind all of the grammatical errors!

The Pink Shoe Odyssey






I have decided to take the five kids along with me to buy birthday presents for the weekend parties. We were actually invited to three parties, but will only be attending 2, because Steve and I have a Chinese wedding to attend on Sunday.



I get the kids shoed and jacketed (if there is such a term, and even if there isn’t). I send the big boys down the stairs first to wait in our tiny area we call “the entrance or entranceway”. When I had first moved from Manhattan I couldn’t stop calling it the lobby. As in “wow this is a really small lobby.” Steve would not so patiently remind me that it was not a lobby that we did not live in an apartment and he was under no circumstances the DOORMAN. Any way some people are very sensitive about job titles, doorman, bellhop really what’s the difference.



This day I put Cara’s pink Mary Jane’s on, though I prefer her pink sneakers, I was forced by the pandemonium breaking out around me, as it often does when the shoes are brought out, to settle for the Mary Jane’s. The babies understand that the shoes mean we are leaving the house and apparently leaving the house calls for an excess of laughter, screaming, ever more feats of dangerous climbing (Mark can climb up to, and stand on the window sill, edge his way across the window sill to turn on the radio or to knock it off its perch) and lots of tears. So I went with the Mary Jane’s.

I open the door to the den and the three 16 month old babies run, fall down, get up, step on each other and race for the doorway, getting stuck as all three end up there at the same time some how, with the one who is the least able to get through, stepping back to pull on jackets and hair to get the other two blockers to his or her freedom out of the way. This tactic rarely works. A few screams and a backward body slam usually send the puller down on his butt and the other two burst through to our landing, which is precariously small for three toddlers who need to turn around and get down on all fours to crawl down the stairs. There is usually one that will attempt the stair forward and needs to be seriously redirected. My goal at this point is to sit halfway down the stairs (there are only 8 steps) to slow people down and give some direction. Mikie is first to hit the stairs but 2 steps from the bottom something shiny strikes his fancy and he had the audacity to STOP! Before I could move Mark literally climbed on Mikies back shimmied down and landed first. Mikie yelled and batted at him, but he never had a fighting chance I mean he STOPPED, he didn’t have a leg to stand on.



Now we have made it down to the lobby and I am seriously fuming that the stupid doorman is not their and he will certainly get no tip this Christmas. The babies are crowding poor Chris and Matt who have little patience in this small space. The babies are trying to grab all the keys they see on our little key table as Chris freaks out yelling “no babies danger!” Matthew swings open the door and I swear there is a full moment when all action and noise ceases, just like in a movie. Matthew makes eye contact with me and realized a beat too late that he should not have opened the door.



Matthew beats a fast track out of there and I run out the door knowing that my only chance is to swing open the large side doors of the van. I grab the handle and it’s locked. One baby is making his way to the backyard, another to the street. I get the key and unlock it. Like that the gremlins, I mean babies, hear the door and start charging the van. Chris sees their intention at the same time as Matthew and they jump over the babies to be first.



I lock all five kids into seats and put in a movie (so much for no TV under 2 how about no R-rated movies under 2 ? Sometimes goals must be amended). We arrive peacefully to the mall, which includes me driving an 8 foot tall, 15 passenger van, under a bridge clearly marked 6’11”. We park outside of the garage because it is marked 7’, you would think after the bridge I would have no respect for those signs…but I am trying to be good role model some of the time.



I gather everyone. Matthew and Christopher fell asleep on the way so I am able to get the triple stroller together and put the babies in the stroller in relative calmness. The boys are great holding carefully to the stroller as we make our way through the parking lot. It never ceases to amaze me how many people treat the parking lot like the Indy 500 as I brush off any memories of me acting the same way only a few short years ago. It is so much easier to be a self-righteous mom if you edit our any part of your life when you were not a mom.



We tried to look for a gift at the Children’s place but it is too crowded and I give up. Oh but there is a KB toys store. We walk in and there is a potty emergency so we run back down the hall to the potty, thank God for family rooms that they have now. Chris does not want to go, but I promise not to flush the toilet and he agrees to the terms. Leaving the family potty room the other families are stunned. I have clearly gone way overboard in my effort to fit into the “family potty room” definition, perhaps I am trying to get those slackers with only one kid in tow to look bad. .

We get back to KB and I find the perfect gifts 2/10.00 so by perfect I mean dirt cheap and age appropriate (give me a break they won’t even be in the same school next year). While shopping the big boys see that the store has a pool set up full of balls. “can we go in?” um sure. Now should I let them play while I shop or will they get stolen? Ah well they’re almost 4 they have to learn to fend for themselves some point. And though it is annoying to me and the other shopper in the store, I call out to them every five minutes and they have taken to running between me and the pool. I check out and the help doesn’t even bother stopping there conversation when I pay, let alone make eye contact. So, the babies need to stretch there legs too, it is only fair. Into the pool they go. All five kids are playing as if they never left the house before. They were having so much fun. Other parents stop in and try to get there kids to play also, but it is too intimidating for the other kids. People are literally stopping in the window to watch and my kids. They bring a smile to everyone who sees them (maybe it is just a smile of relief that they are not theirs but a smile is a smile). I feel incredible proud of them as absurd as they may sound.



Any way after about 20 minutes I pull Mikie out, when I go to get Cara out he dives head first over the edge of the inflated pool and into the balls. I never saw him laugh so hard. Cara takes a walk and tries to leave the store, but not on Chrissy’s watch. He screams “no Cara, no don’t leave Mom, Cara is leaving!” He runs the 4 steps to her side grabs her arm, she loses her balance and falls, this does not deter Chris who drags her on her butt back to the stroller. Cara tough girl that she is, never bats an eye at being knocked over and dragged by her pink clad arm in the opposite direction of her intentions. With promises of ice cream I get them all situated and going again.



I realized at this point that Cara’s shoe is missing. Her sock is black now, and I don’t know how long the shoe has been missing. But lets face it I don’t like those stupid shoes and one of my great parenting strengths is that I am not very detailed orientated, often putting my comfort and rest above changing diapers in a timely fashion and changing the babies clothes when a few stains mysteriously appear. So if anyone was vaguely under the impression that I would consider charging back through the mall looking for an ugly shoe you were seriously mistaken.



The ice cream is bought, cones for the boys a small cup for the triplets to split. We find a nice quiet area to make loud and not so nice and chow down. The boys are corralling the babies who will not wander far from the source of the ice cream any way. Then I pack everyone up for the van. When we are leaving Matthew is begging to stay. I can’t blame him it was a great afternoon and I came home with two gifts, of course I realized that I actually need two for each party.. but any way. It was a nice day. It was not Disney World, but it seemed magical anyway, it so hard to convey why. And to top it off what is on the running board of “big”? The pink ugly Mary Jane! All I can hope now is for the doorman to be home to help me get all these kids out of the lobby when I get back.

Posts in the graveyard

This is a graveyard post. It is were I am putting the remains of not one but two great news posts.

The first is of the dog, yes a dog Rocky the Rockstar Boomer Bo. But alas I didn't even have a chance to take a picture of him before he was hospitalized with a horrible virus called Parvo. It is costing a small fortune and he is in mega bad shape. I unfortunately said ungraceful things like "the dog is half dead" which Cara is cheerfully informing everyone, which is a bit disconcerting coming from a ponytailed kindergartner. Now all you judges before you say "why would you get a dog, is your life not hard enough?" I will tell you this I as you may have discerned am not interested in gliding through life, but actually experiencing it, and all of its attended stresses and rewards. Does that or me, always look pretty or even happy as I troop through the things I take on? In a word no. But all of you glossy, well rested, unruffled people can take your boring lives, it just isn't for me. Feeling a little defensive, yes I am , how did you ever guess.

Okay graveyard post number 2, this would be that next weekend is the much anticipated move. We are still moving alright, just not where we had hoped. Instead we are off to my MIL's house. All 7 of us and our half dead puppy (I am afraid this name might stick) At least it will help us pay the vet bills. So into a 1 bedroom apt we go. It is so hard to imagine that this will happen in 7 days, when I had been so looking forward to getting into the house, buying decorating magazines and looking at pictures of stone fireplaces. We are still hoping to save the deal, but really who knows at this point?

It would be great to wrap this up with something meaningful but it is after all a graveyard and there just isn't much to say.

life gets in the way

Now there is no doubt that I am long overdue for furniture. Anyone who has visited the house of Bo in the past well 5 years may have at first felt, well these couches have seen better days; to I will not sit on that monstrosity if it were the last place on earth to sit (the later reserved for our more dramatic friends and family).

It is a strange mix of this is how I live, and you will not tear this penny free from my clenched fist that has caused the situation to get dire.

Well that and you know life. For example the beautiful and articulate trips turning yikes 5, articulate as in the "these are my buttnocks!" and "another way of saying cool dude is stinky brother" variety. There was the three parties to plan in their honor. Do you think three is not enough? Yes then I do agree with you, my faithful reader. There was the class fiesta, which entails finding the breakaway cupcakes that look like a cake.. enough for 2 classes oh no, only vanilla after specific requests for chocolate. Panic and traversing of the streets of queens followed by a phone call to three 5 year olds to assess their commitment to chocolate and when noticeably the whole articulate thing goes out the proverbial window. When do they catch on that phone calls cannot include head shakes?

Then there was the family party and mom you would be proud there was the hunt for the gifts and all! Along with a water park themed cake because last, but oh no poor wallet, not least trip to Great Wolfe Lodge. Whose pricey price tag was justified alone by the no cleaning, checking of email or other petty household distractions added up to Bo family fun!
Then of course was poor Christopher Tonsillectomy and adenoid-ectemy. A horrible ordeal with thank God a speedy recovery.

Oh yes through this was the hiring of a cleaning crew..awesome right? Cheap and good the answer to my prayers. Hey not so fast.. the hitting on by the cleaning crew leader to my au pair has ended the relationship in awkward terms. So let's breath..it is little wonder that I am just happy with a place to sit after the kids go down with little regard to aesthetics? Perhaps we are just to busy living and honestly between it all loving this life!

Night-night just got a whole lot easier

I am enjoying a fantastic lull between au pairs. I am mostly home with the kids for three straight weeks, and I am over the moon about it. One of the toughest times to deal with the kids is homework and night night (and usually the only time that I see the kids at all during the week.)

And though homework is still tough because the triplets do not want to entertain themselves for the hour that the homework takes, night night has gotten much easier.

Steve has been telling me for a few weeks now, that the big boys help him do night night routine with the babies. It just did not sound like a good plan to me. But monday night they talked me into letting them help. So they each helped brush the babies teeth. Then during reading time, I read to one baby and each boy read to a baby. It was like a scene from "a perfect preschool setting" Chris was reading to Mikie a book about the earth and with each interesting fact, would say isn't that awesome? I mean how inspriring can a reading session get? While Matthew was showing Cara a shapes book and asking her to point ot several shapes and when she would get them right he would say" nice work Cara" Okay What?????Honestly I don't know who these people are! It gets better. I tell them to leave it is time for me to shut the lights and rock each triplet. "No. we wait here" they tell me. okay lets try it. The boys go to the corner sit as quiet as mice while I rock the others. Then we leave and they tip toe quietly all the way up the stairs.

Honestly that is what happened. I was so impressed. And overall my anxiety was lower because I didn't have to rock the babies while listening to things crash and fights breaking out from the boys room upstairs where they usually wait for me!

This three weeks will be topped off by the Myrtle Beach trip so it is a great spring for me, and hopefully the babies are enjoying themselves also!