Just some sweet pictures from the weekend. I love the 4 spidermen, Mark kept his PJ's on all day, he loved them so much. One just has to wonder what Cara is up to while all of these do-gooder spidermen are engaged in a photo op...

Time

I step out onto the path to start my run,
The crisp wind lifts the leaves and whips them into a funnel,
carrying the unique scent of freshness that the fall air holds.
Something about this scene or the air,
and for an instant I am transported to another time.

I am my 15 year old self standing on a street in Syosset
wearing my corduroy jean jacket, my hair blowing back from my face.

I inhale deeply and begin to run.
Briefly glancing over my shoulder I see that shimmery girl,
she smiles
and I am deeply relieved to see
that she is proud of who we have become.

Cara does the Museum of Natural History

Is Cara in time out at the Museum of Natural History? Did Princess Cara Sophia get sent to the corner? No, no breathe easy, precious did not get put in the doghouse. This is her posing for a picture. She just found the museum to be an unbearable bore.
She was unimpressed with the 30 foot 3D renderings of African elephants preferring to have us watch her do pirouettes about the room. While stars exploded and meteorites fell on movie screens behind her, she wanted us to watch as she jumped from bench to bench. When the Imax theater re-enacted death matches between dinosaurs on a screen 7 stories high, Cara darted between Steve and I begging for candy and attention.
Ah Cara, always the star of the show, you will not be out shined by some long dead, fakes hanging around some dark old Museum.

Back to school

No, I don't dress them the same everyday. Just for this first day back, oh and the second day, but not today, their third day in. This third day feels more like the first one, because today they stay all day. They are going to eat lunch there! Matthew told me that maybe next year he would eat lunch and dinner at school. I told him no way!

Matthew was very unhappy about leaving me today. He likes school, but being the bright boy that he is, he understood that it would be his first long day away from home. We were saved by his teacher Ms.Shelley, she walked by us with the class and offered to be his partner, I could see the relief in Matthew's eyes when he spotted her and she took his hand. She took a moment to tell me how good Matthew was yesterday in school. I am proud to report that I kept a look of utter surprise off my face! No, Matthew is a good boy.

So this morning they left with a quarter in their pockets for milk, lunches packed in superhero lunch bags and a snack. I showed them what they were to eat for snack and what they are to eat for lunch. There backpacks stuffed with school supplies.

Matthew told me he put his backpack in his cubby yesterday, but left the lunch bag on his chair, so he could remember which seat is his. Smart.

I have not gotten any work done, and did not sleep last night, I am on anxiety overdrive. I am so excited for them, because I know how much they will love school, but I am keeping my eye on the clock waiting impatiently for 2:30 so I can go pick them up.

The boys are in separate classes but will eat lunch together and have recess together. Yesterday was a half day so they only had snack no lunch, Matthew was upset that he didn't get to eat snack with Christopher.

The babies have told me they want to go to school, especially Mark, he hates for the family to be seperated.

Guess what? I can go get the boys now! No more pretending to work! Thanks for helping me pass the time!

TADA!

"taDA!" a little hop on one foot with the arms outstretched and a smile on his face. No reaction from the crowd, so another louder and with more feeling "TAADAAA!"

"Mikey did you finish your chalk art? it looks great!"

"yeah!" an enthused Mikey answers.

But where did he get this from? The TADA. It is great, delivered with such sincerity and no bragging intended, he just wanted to share in his accomplishment. Whatever he intended to accomplish he had and isn't that great! Mikey we joke has middle child syndrom. He is good, reliable, able to play on his own or with his siblings, he is easily overlooked. I do remind myself to take time and sit and talk or play with him. Maybe it is working because there he is open and proud and happy to share in his moment. It is one of those moments when I allow myself to stop worrying.
I remember when the triplets first arrived I worried all day everyday for months. It was exhuasting. People would whisper or just say it plainly "how will she do it?" or "ugh, I could never one drove me nuts" Then one day I was tired of the worrying and a thought formed in my mind. What if everything is okay. What if they are all just fine. What if my inability to provide each child with endless hours of single minded focus on them is actually not a problem, or at least balanced out by the fact that they have eachother. I never breathed so easily in all of my life. Because it rang very true to my ears. As the Who said 30 years ago "the kids are alright" and they are.

Finally the birthday montage is complete

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

As you can see I have a new look on the site. I am thinking it may be a little to understated, though I think it is easier to read the text. We'll see if it will stay.
Yes the montage is finally done! I am happy it is done, because by now my thoughts have turned to the end of one of the best summer's of my life. Granted this does not mean that it was stress free or relaxing, but wow, how exciting and fun, fun, fun!
Now we are buying school supplies as my boys begin their real school days.

It's all in that moment

This has been a busy summer so far, and things don't look like they will be slowing down for the month of August. On Tuesday the kids and I hit Nonnis' pool. It was tough keeping an eye on all 5, though they did cooperate and put on their life vests. After a few hours I dried them off and brought them to McDonald's for dinner. My nerves were frayed from the swimming and I felt too tired to face cooking, let alone that, I had it in my mind that we needed to go to the grocery store to buy cake mix to make a cake for gram and grandpa.
How I thought that would go well is beyond me. It may have been because the previous day Steve and I brought them all to Costco, where we piled them all on flatbed cart and managed to buy what we needed and get all of them home alive so I got to feeling emboldened.
We were a sight at the grocery store(did I mention I had Leo with me?) So the 7 of us somehow make it through the overcrowded aisles with the babies throwing random things in the cart. Some items I couldn't even identify. The kids won't go in the cart, they prefer to hang onto the sides with their feet on the under basket, facilitating easy on off as needed in their 2 year old minds. There were some minor injuries, but these were no deterrent to the daredevil travel mode with easy access to all things shiny. Oh they were happy.

All of this swimming, Mcd's and grocery shopping leads up to the arrival home and the spotting of fireflies. This was an awe inspiring moment for the 5. Matthew was thrilled to catch them and put them in their brand new "habitat". Seeing those fire flies brought me back 30 years . When we would spot fireflies, my dad would say,"well that's the end of summer!" All the feelings that would bring to my 10 year old mind. Profound sadness that the long, shiftless days of summer were coming to an end, and the anxiety and hope that a new school year brings. And now all these years later feeling the same exact emotions as I watch my 5 year olds, who are oblivious to the change their lives will be taking in 3 short weeks, run around chasing fire flies.
Matthew said that night that he now has to take care of his fish, his firefly and a bug that is also in his habitat so he would be very busy tomorrow. I loved that.

The inconsequential moments seem to strike me as magnified and more important then the big events I plan. There is something in these moments that feel more revealing
even like a thread being weaved through our lives that holds the family together stronger then the big splashy trips and I constantly plan for us.

It is like rising above the din to see the whole picture caught in one single moment. We are healthy, we are safe, we have all of our needs met and more. When you think of all of the suffering in this world, the children who get cancer the families living in the chaos of war and poverty. We are so lucky, so incredibly blessed. That I send out a little prayer of thanks and a simultaneous plea for help for those who can't have what I have so easily.

I find inspiration in the simple gestures the kids share so readily. When Mark decides to haul a huge, filled watering can to accomplish some task only known to his 2 year old mind. Matthew casually walks up and says "let me help you with that." and easily takes the can from Mark's hands and brings it across the yard for him.

Or when Christopher's patiently sits on the couch reading a book to Mikey or explaining how a game is played on the computer. Chris's voice soft and sweet saying "good job Mikey, you did it."

Or when Cara is swimming with me and opens her hand to show me she has caught a frog! When I scream she calmly looks at me and says "mommy frog yucky?" Her head tilted in interest, while her eyes intensely monitor my response to her find. You can almost see her thinking.

Or after Mikey falls in the pool, head first no less, I grab him and he looks at me and says " momma, I fall in agua."
"yes, sweetie." I calmly say, "you fell in the agua." While in my head I am screaming "oh my God, I can't believe you fell in the water, what if I wasn't watching, this could have ended so differently!"
After a beat he says again "momma I fall in the agua with my head"
"yes, you did, you fell in the agua with your head" I respond.
"momma I fell in the agua, my head!"
"you did Mikey, you fell in the agua with your head first, you poor thing." I respond again.
Then he gets up and goes back to filling his bucket out of the pool, which is exactly what he was doing before he fell in the pool.

Conversations exactly like this happen all day for every scrape bump and hurt feelings that my 5 experience. They tell me what happened and what the offending person or thing was that caused their injury. I love listening to them giver thier account of the events. My listening sets things straight for them. They can carry on, once they are sure I understood exactly what happened and sympathize with their plight. Being understood deeply is important every age or our lives it seems. I am glad I know how to do this and that they actually seek me out exactly for this purpose. I feel happy even honored to be a part of these conversations.

So when you see me stressed out and disheveled, feel free to lend a hand but never feel bad for me, because cranky kids and frazzled mom moments are a small price to pay for all of the beautiful moments that make up my days.