Thursday, June 7, 2007
We seem to be struggling to get life back on track since our trip. My endless guilt which always is ready to bubble over by the mere fact that I work, has run out of control since the trip. So I am running back and forth between the house to have time with the kids and the office to get some work done.
Last night was the au pair's birthday. For those of you that never had an au pair which I am guessing is the majority of people. They are not merely employees. In fact au pair mean "on par". They are not like a second mom, which is what one person said to me....which I did not take well and they are not like a daughter. They are more like a distant relative who was sent to you. You are responsible for them, you end up caring about them and counting on them. So being her birthday, I wanted to thank her for the great care she gave my kids while I was away and help her celebrate her first birthday far from home.
I decorated a superwoman cake, and Steve prepared a big meal the night before that only needed to be heated up the day of the fiesta.
Well yesterday like all days got complicated. I left work at 11;15 to pick up the boys. They run out excited to have been invited to a playdate. Oh great a new plan. I say okay. It is not the norm to drop kids off at these things at this point. So I have to stick around. I feel so guilty that I am not at work and now to get anything done, I will have to work later and cut into precious baby time. Finally I tell the mom who is great, that I have to go. She says the boys can stay. I feel relieved. Chris declines and goes to the office with me-which I was secretly so happy about. She kept trying to entice him to stay but I was like its okay, let's go Chris. I worked until 5 picked up the Matthew, went to return books at the library and get Dalila a card. I got home at 6. Steve was not there and no dinner was cooking. We had forgotten to tell Dalila to put the food in the oven.
So no food for our fiesta. I felt terrible. In preparation for her birthday party, Dalila had bathed and dressed the babies in the party best, But it was 6PM and there was no food, no decorations, no balloons, no people.
Steve ran out and picked up chicken I heated up the side dishes he had prepared, hung the signs, wrapped the gifts and the party began at 7. Dalila was the perfect honoree, ignoring the snafu, laughing with the kids, helping out, raving over the rather sad cake
We all danced to the Spanish music station, Cara looked beautiful in her party dress and carrying her yellow balloons. Dalila thanked us many times for the party and presents. I hope that she was able to see what we were trying to convey to her: that she is important to the family, that even though we are wrapped up with so many demands, that she counts too.